"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."

Movies.

Our family has (had) a slight movie addiction and I think they blame it on me and my collection of nearly 600 movies... Princess Bride has (had) been a particular favorite of ours since before Ian could utter words. It came out the year Danny was born. If you have not seen it, quit reading now, go watch it and come back. I can wait.

We often walk(ed) around the house citing funny lines from movies (and good TV shows) whenever an opportune moment presented itself. We also worked very hard at saying things that were completely inappropriate, although well timed, to get someone to smile or laugh or pee themselves. It is (was) our way to have fun and to be silly. Until 5 months ago we did this everyday or nearly everyday without fail. Even when the kids were at school it became a texting game.

Public mocking of our children (to prepare them for the cruel world) was instituted at all possible moments and guess what - they can (could) laugh at themselves better than anyone.

And as a family of five we laugh(ed). We giggle(d). We smile(d) each time we were able to sneak a "good one" in.

Some of my favorites:

"The panda is dead."

"Can you leave me alone for just five more minutes? I just got into the third act." [with an English voice and moving sock puppet] "Yes! Close the door! It's bloody chilly in here!"

"May the schwartz be with you!"

Ian about drove me nuts with "That's what she said." To the point I could do it as quickly as he could to just about every person I ran across in every conversation...and by the way...it is not tactful to do it all the time. Caylea also mastered this phrase. It's catchy, dang it.

Greg and I talk(ed) a LOT about sex in front of the kids as they got older, especially if we knew they could hear us but they thought we were being private. A FUN game. If our kids have (had) any questions still unanswered it is because we don't "do it" that way! (Sorry, could not help myself.) And we threatened nudity if the going got tough. It works like a charm. [For all you aghast at the thought we would discuss sex as a normal part of everyday life that could be fun, well check out Song of Solomon - as usual God says it best!)

Greg walk(ed) around making up goofy songs to go with whatever was going on. We should have recorded him! It was that ridiculous and funny.

Ian re-enacting Wolverine as a young kid - knives and all (see old Facebook post). Listening to Caylea and Danny do a Harry Potter lines while Ian and I just said "what?"

Monty Python offered tons of material. The black night with his "just a flesh wound", the old man with "I'm not dead yet" and King Arthur requesting "the holy hand grenade" for the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog...I have already heard three times today from Greg, Danny and Caylea quoting without the help of the internet:

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

Teaching the kids to dance, but by first showing them what not to do - which entailed smashing our bodies as close together so that we end up prone and kissing....you get the idea.

Oh, this is funny and may get me in trouble, even with E. We each had a "thing" - something we did that was completely embarrassing that we NEVER let each other forget. So here it is for the world to read. Greg's involves pinching his own nipples in public. I am not making this up. I was there. I wish I wasn't, but I was. Mine is flipping off the Girl Scouts (not fully extended fingers, but, yes, with both hands). Danny's involved jumping out of a moving car and getting his foot run over - in his defense - his was the most painful. Caylea's was accidentally backing her car into her aunt's car during a parallel parking exercise - as she gunned it. Ian's was undressing while going through a scanner at the courthouse to tuck his shirt in and standing there like a deer caught in the headlights, pants wide open, whitey tighties in plain sight. Twice.

The boys at 13, 16 and 18 had to "suffer" through Hello Kitty or Barbie themed birthday parties. And for their 13th birthdays had to do a scavenger hunt where they went door to door asking our neighbors to wear make up, clean lent dryers, put on wedding dresses; you get the idea. For Ian's 18th birthday we wrapped every single thing in his room in foil, including his drawers, what was in them and the ceiling fans.

The boys as teenagers were also inducted into the Vageena Club. Ask Becky. It was all her. And they loved it.

Back to Princess Bride. Ian came home two years ago from a week at Bible camp and their team name was "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die." Seriously. It. is. a. long. name. And Ian was the one who suggested it to his group. That became the catch phrase for months for everything. I know people thought we worshiped that movie for a time.

Now is the point you may want to stop reading. These are good and wonderful memories and there are many more like them we will share over time. But the rest of this blog gets heavy....

Still reading? Then I need you to pray for us. It has been rough around here and what made me remember all these funny things is how they are now missing.

Inigo Montoya: Do you hear that, Fezzik? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father. 

It's "inconceivable" to me that my baby has gone Home.
It's "inconceivable" to me that my baby won't come home.
It's "inconceivable" to me that I won't hear his voice today or tomorrow.
It's "inconceivable" to me that he won't bear hug me.
It's "inconceivable" to me that our family will ever have joy again.
It's "inconceivable" to me that with this much pain I am able to take another breath.
It's "inconceivable" to me that I will continue to live after going through what I was sure would kill me.
It's "inconceivable" to me that I can survive this much pain.
It's "inconceivable" to me that the tears stop for awhile.
It's "inconceivable" to me that I won't be able to play with his hair.
It's "inconceivable" to me that life is so damn unfair.
It's "inconceivable" to me that we might take family pictures again.
It's "inconceivable" to me that Ian 'leap frogged' me into Heaven.
It's "inconceivable" to me that my baby is not here for me to hold and to love.
It's "inconceivable" to me that Ian won't tell me he loves me twice just to be sure he said it once.

In the movie Inigo says to Vizzini, "You keep using that word [inconceivable]. I do not think it means what you think it means."

I do think it means what I think it means. And I think it is by the grace of God I can ponder these things, learn to believe them slowly overtime and still be inexhaustibly sad about them, but not be able to fully grasp them in the here and now. For surely, if these things were truly conceivable I would cease to breathe.

One thing that is conceivable is my love for my son and his for me (thank you Roland for the reminder):

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.

and

Buttercup: You can't hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.

and

The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...

In these really deep and dark times I pray and read scripture. I was encouraged by a reading of Piper to memorize and hold tight to Isaiah 41:10:

fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Maybe instead of movie/TV quotes we should have worked more on scripture...

I wuv you e. I will wuv you foweva.

[If you are getting the email version you will not see the photo that will be posted after noon on Sunday to this webpage. I am too tired to get it out tonight....wait...."THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"]