Bittersweet Moments

Bittersweet - producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure. A word used nonstop in our house as of late.

Last week was filled with one bittersweet moment after another. We had visits from Terry, Gina, Trestan, John, Brenda and Evan (not in picture). Of course the entire time Ian had a presence we all felt and loved and missed - especially when it came to making the Hillis Honey Butter Chicken Biscuits from scratch! The first time I had these was one of the first times Ian brought Terry home. Watching and talking to all of them brought us so much pleasure that outweighed the pain of the lack of Ian's physical presence. We cannot wait to see our newly adopted family again. Greg was right - our quiver is overflowing.

Then on Wednesday my surrogate grand-baby "SoSo" (as I like to call her because she is so so cute, so so adorable, so so beautiful and so so perfect) was born.

Sophia is a treasure. I believe seeing her was the first time I have experienced "pure joy" since April 19. She really is perfect. As I left that little one behind I was reminded of my own little one, my own baby, the baby of our family and the tears flowed for a long time. Bittersweet. 

Wednesday evening we had our first official Bible study with a group of people who also know our kind of loss - the sermon topic - ready for this - "Lament." A great podcast - http://grace360.org/sermons/

Then Friday. Friday and three months. Three months. We had our first super odd bittersweet family outing - all five of us. We found out earlier in the week Ian's autopsy was completely clear, which we knew - duh! and his connective tissues and bone used in bone grafts were available for donation. So as a family we all went to the Blood and Tissue donation center to donate blood and platelets (along with John, Brenda and Xiuzhu), while E's donations were available next door waiting for the call. His own donations will help at least 40-50 people and potentially 2-3 times that amount. Praise God. But really, really bittersweet.

Saturday we visited with SoSo again after buying out all the cute stuff at Target! Then we had a surprise visit from our friends from the UAE. We love the Coopers!!! But they made me cry bittersweet tears! They gave me a necklace with Ian's full name so that he can be with me all the time.... 

Well, let's not stop the tears yet...we had pictures to hang in the house that would balance out that not only do we have one child who has been the center of attention for the past three months, but we have two others. So Sunday. Sunday we hung our "family outing" photos taken after E went home. This one kind of says it all and you can imagine the emotion behind it....

That was followed by Caylea getting her tattoo finished. It is simply beautiful and really really bittersweet as well. Danny had more done on his and next Sunday Greg will have his started. And then I was able to spend the evening with some of the best women on the planet who brought me immeasurable comfort as they listened to me share God's testimony in our lives over the past three months.

Now for what has managed to get me through this past week with it's mixture of intense, unendurable pain and pleasure mixed with moments of pure joy: Colossians 1:11-12 (the Message): We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

Clearly we love you dearly and miss you E, but without doubt your love and legacy will live on through all of us.

Please leave a brief comment - maybe even your initials for each post? Just curious to who the readers are! Love to you each.