Legacy

Today in church they talked about men leaving a legacy and sitting on either side of me was only a small part of Ian's legacy. Danny on one side who said a beautiful prayer for father's day today and Matt Nolan who sat to my right and was only there because Ian said he was praying for him one day. 

Ian's legacy has been so powerful and visible that I cannot imagine the impact I am unaware of!

On the flip side...It's weird to have an "okay" day because guilt starts to set heavy in the evenings that is was mostly an okay day. Does that make any sense? I feel I should be crying more, but instead I'm just more depressed.

I miss all the silliness.
I miss all the talking.
I miss all the hugs.
I miss all the "Mom, I love you."
I miss all your friends who loved you.
I miss you wanting to be apart of everything - in the center of everything.
I miss all the new things you introduced us to.
I miss your ability to naturally play and write music.
I miss my little boy.
I miss my hairy boy.
I miss my muscle boy.
I miss my high jumping boy.
I even miss the complaining and the promises to do better.
I miss you.

~ mom

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