Chips and Holidays

Chips. Last night I cried because we only had one bag of chips instead of 10 on the shelf. Ian's favorite food. Chips made me cry like a newborn in fetal position for 15 minutes while I listened to E's rendition of "Oh How He Loves."

We skipped Mother's Day - except for my beautiful December birthstone tanzanite ring.  We skipped Dad's birthday. We mostly celebrated Father's Day and even gave Dad a very nice toiletry bag from {Ian} wrapped in an A&M bag. But today is now July 4th. Not a big holiday, but a long weekend...weekends tend to be long and still suck...let's add two days! I think it is going to be a big help that Brendan Kelly is coming to stay for a few days. He will be going to Nairobi, Africa in two weeks and taking Ian with him. Brendan sounds like Ian, also a man of God...

Anyway, God, I love you and I know you love my son more than me. Please give him a big old bear hug from me and let him know I expect him to be waiting for me right behind Jesus when I enter Glory. I miss him more than words or tears or fetal positions over stupid chips could ever say. 

I love you Ian. You left us too soon. I wasn't ready even if you were. 

~ mom

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