People keep saying that there is no formula for grief, but I think I have found the answer … when grief strikes and is overwhelming and more than I can handle I turn to God.
When all that I know and all that believed in has been shattered I turned to God.
When I'm in fetal position in the closet screaming into a towel I turned to God.
When I keep envisioning that first day over and over and over again I turned to God.
When I'm angry and disillusioned and bitter I turn to God.
When I am overwhelmed with life and living I turn to God.
When I feel ready to go Home I turn to God.
When I consider the future and all that will be missing I turn to God.
When I feel like I'm hanging on my own cross, I turn to God.
And these are some of the things I say:
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh God, please not Ian.
I am so angry.
It hurts so bad.
I want Ian.
I want my baby back.
I miss him, please tell Ian I miss him.
but most often and from day one until even now….
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
And in the moments when joy creeps in because of things that I remember of you I thank God.
When people tell me a new story of you and your craziness, your kindness, your love I thank God.
When I consider you have visited me from Heaven at least twice I thank God.
I am glad you are with Him Ian. He is our connection.
When people tell me a new story of you and your craziness, your kindness, your love I thank God.
When I consider you have visited me from Heaven at least twice I thank God.
I am glad you are with Him Ian. He is our connection.
I love you.
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment